


Why The Water Burns

by amyw



Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Dream SMP Lore - Fandom, Enderman - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game), Ranboo - Fandom
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-18 08:46:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28864266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amyw/pseuds/amyw
Summary: This will be about Ranboo’s enderman side.Some of it will be canon but it’ll mostly be stuff I wish was canon. Some aspects like the fact that he is half enderman and he has memory problems will be from the Dream SMP lore. This will also be mostly from Ranboo’s POV. In this story, the other characters don’t know that Ranboo is half enderman, unlike in the actual lore.
Kudos: 55





	1. What They Can't Know

Ranboo’s POV  
They confronted me today. They confronted me about being a traitor. I’m not a traitor though. I pick people. I don’t pick sides. I pick people. Why do people pick sides? Why can’t they pick people? I started yelling and telling them this. They didn’t listen. I could feel it coming. They kept staring at me. I felt threatened. I could feel my jaw unhinging. I could feel the purple particles coming out from me. I could feel my eyes change. I had to do something, and quick. They can’t know. They can’t know. What if they know? Did they find out and I can’t remember? Did I add it to my book? Is it in my book? Did it happen? Was it deleted from the book? They can’t know why when I see purple I get scared. They can’t know why when I hear endermen I’m scared of who it’s coming from. Is it me? Why my jaw looks weird. Why I can’t go much longer without going to the end. I need to go. I stop and stare at every enderman I see. But I can’t in front of others. I can’t because they can’t know that endermen don’t get mad at me. They can’t know why either. They can’t know that I talk to them. They can’t know any of this. So when they stare at me. When they yell at me and I feel it coming, I don’t know what to do. It gets the worst and I blackout. But it’s purple. It’s purple but as a blackout. It’s my “other state”. They can’t know this stuff. They can’t know the purple, the eye contact, the bond, the jaw. They can’t know why the water burns.


	2. Pearls and Panic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes place before they find out he’s a traitor but after he had both made his panic room and lost his book and panicked over it. Sorry, it’s not in chronological order with chapter 1.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god thank you all for the support to means so much! Hope you enjoy chapter 2!

Ranboo’s POV  
I’ve been strip-mining for a while. I go out from underground. It’s raining and I sigh. I run to get to my house. The rain burns. I chat to the others.  
“Does anyone have any pearls?”  
I need them to get through the rain faster.  
“No just go to the warped forest biome and kill some endermen,” says Tommy.  
I cringe. I can’t do that. I decide to go to the nether and trade for pearls. I trade for a while and get 5 pearls. I know where an end portal is. I know where they are. Where they all are. They call to me when I get close. I need to get home. I go to the warped forest and sit with the endermen. I sit with them and feel comforted. I like being around them. I like being around obsidian. I like having pearls. It comforts me. I go to my panic room when I’m back in the overworld because the rain is stinging. I hear the voices. They’re telling me I’m bad. What I did. But I didn’t do it, right? Did I go to my other state? Have I gotten so mad that they know? What happens when I go into my other state? When I know I’m mad or gonna do something I’ll regret? Do they see the particles? My unhinged jaw? My greeny-purple eyes? What do they know? 

“Are you okay” I hear from behind me.  
I look around. I thought I was in my panic room? I was standing in the rain. I wince in pain at the rain burning my skin but choose to ignore it, as usual. I realize it’s Tubbo who’s asking.

“Huh? Oh umm yeah. I’m fine” I say, ignoring his gaze. I can feel his eyes on me, the panic left from what I can’t remember, the rain burning, and I get more nervous.

“Are you sure?” Tubbo asks with obvious concern.

“Yes, I’m fine. I just don’t like the rain.”

“Let’s go inside. Come on” he says as we walk to my house.

I can feel his eyes on me and I hate it. It’s not as intense as when people make eye contact or are mad at me, but any gaze is weird. I put on my armor to hide the purple with my enchanted netherite. 

“I actually have to go do something, I’ll talk to you later,” I say, hiding my fangs trying to make themselves more prominent.

“Okay, bye Ranboo”

“Bye Tubbo”

He leaves and I run to my panic room. I write in my book. I need to try to remember everything. I need to try to remember what I know I won’t. I add to my book. My book has hurt me, I’ll never forget the panic when I lost it, still scared of any consequences that may appear from it, but I’ll be more careful. I need my book to help me remember. I need my book to help me remember what I do and should do. What do I do when the particles are always there? What do I do when both my eyes are purpley-green? What do I do when any gaze causes me to lose control? What do I do when the water kills me?


	3. Distorted Voices

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The lore in this chapter takes place after the lore in chapter 1 when going in chronological order. A lot of the monologue/dialogue in this chapter is very accurate to the lore that actually happened but some of it is stuff I made up.

Ranboo’s POV  
I look up, seeing them all look at me. They’re all yelling at me. They’re not listening. How can they not see that sides are the problem? I can feel the particles. I run to my panic room, getting stung by the water for a moment as I swim in, looking around at the obsidian walls and the signs hung on them. 

“Why won’t they listen?” I say softly to myself. 

“Why won’t they listen? Why won’t they listen? Why won’t they listen?” I say over and over, getting louder each time. 

“I have no one,” I say so softly, it’s barely audible. 

“How did they get my book? How did I lose it?” I say in a panic this time. I can feel myself panicking as I see the tears from the crying obsidian fall down onto the regular obsidian. I can feel the particles coming. I start to make endermen noises. The distorted cries echo as the room cries along with me. I can feel my jaw getting loose like a snake. Like an enderman. My eyes flicker green and purple. I’m just glad I escaped all their gazes before they saw. I shouldn’t have shown my true emotions. Or almost true. As much as I could before it was too much. Before they all knew too much. What I had told them about what I’d done and my views on all this felt like too much. Imagine if they knew it all. Imagine if they knew.

I can feel myself panicking more and more, my enderman side getting more prominent. I start pacing within the small purple walls. Asking myself why I had to say all that. I kept switching what I was saying, starting to say one thing then the opposite. 

“How do you choose people if everyone’s against you?” I say, my voice breaking.   
“No, no ones against- no everyones- no ev- no ones- no everyone is- no- no g- ev- no o- they- they don’t- they do- they don’t understand- …they understand?” I say, more panic with every syllable, more enderman with every break, my distorted enderman voice causing me to cut in and out. My purple side causing me to fight with myself and on the verge of a panic attack. 

“Hello?” I hear Dream’s voice say. 

“...Oh. So you’ve come- come here to my-” I sigh, “my panic room now” I sigh deeper. “How did you do it?” 

“I have”

“How did you do it?” my voice quivers, “How did you find my book? How did- how did you know?” 

“Well,” he says, a small moment of silence following, “it was in your chest”

“Never put it- I never put it in my- wh-” I say softly “Why? Why now? Why suddenly now? When you could’ve just done this earlier?” I say with my voice growing louder and angrier. “Why didn’t you blow it up immediately? Why- why now? Why choose- why- why give them a delay? Why give them hope?”

“Eh, it’s fun,” he says, his voice disgustingly cheerful. 

“Mm. That’s what it’s always been, huh?” I chuckle.

“It’s just a game.”

“Yeah. Just fun for you to watch everyone-....just watch everyone suffer for a little a bit?” 

“A lot of fun” 

“Yeah, I bet” I chuckle slightly. “Did I do the wrong thing, Dream?” I ask, my voice breaking slightly.

“Mm, well you did” 

“I was just trying to choose the people,” I say, my voice breaking more. “Everyone just keeps on choosing sides and it doesn’t work- it never works.” 

“Well, you- you unintentionally chose a side by not choosing a side”

“What do you mean?” I ask, almost in tears at this point. 

“Well, the side of a traitor”

“No I didn’t- I didn’t betray anyone.”

“Well, you betrayed everyone.” 

“No- I- I- I’m jus- I- I tried to help everyone… and that’s what I did,” I said, voice still breaking. “I was able to help L’Manburg, I was able to help Techno, I was able to help Tommy”

“Mm, you also hurt Techno, hurt Tommy, hurt Tubbo”

Bu- but- but it must outweigh, right? It must outweigh the other sides, right? The good must outweigh the bad?”

“Mm, depends on your perspective.”

“I- I don’t know what else I could’ve done. There was nothing else that I could’ve done, I- I got roped into this from the very beginning. I immediately got roped in to burn George’s house and you know. You know that I don’t do well with peer pressure.” I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes at this point. “But, it just keeps happening. And I don’t know so I- I have this web- that I’ve made for myself.”

“Did you help Tommy destroy the community house?” 

“No”

“You must’ve right. You must’ve-”

“No! I- I didn’t!”

“You must’ve and you just don’t remember. You probably did.”

“I-... don’t remember. Wh-” I say softly. You could hear the disappointment in my voice. Did I? Did I do that? I couldn't've, right? I can’t- I can’t remember. Why don’t I remember? Was I in my other state? Does Tommy know? Does Dream know? Is this even Dream? 

“You’ve done a lot of bad things.”

“Like what? What else did I do?”

“Well, you betrayed your friends. You burned down George’s house, you blew up the community house.”

“I didn’t- tha- I didn’t mean to do any of that. I- I wouldn’t do that. No! I wouldn’t do that! No- that’s- that couldn’t be me!” I say, angry and confused. That couldn’t be me, right? I’m right, right? I didn’t do that right?

“Mm, would you remember if it was?”

“..no…?”

“Would you have written it down in your book?”

“No I wouldn’t- I wouldn’t write down the s- I onl- I don’t write down stuff in the book that I do- I just write down who my friends are and I don’t do it if it’s extremely bad.”

“Well, you have a bad memory, right?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s not good.”

“You’re telling me.” You can hear the exhaustion in my voice. Exhausted with confusion. Exhausted with this conversation. Exhausted with the fights that mean nothing, the fights that are unnecessary. The fights that come from picking sides. Exhausted with not remembering. Not remembering anything. Not knowing if they know. Not knowing if I’m hiding this side of me for nothing, because what if there’s nothing left to hide? “I barely remember anything. The memory book was the one thing that made sure I remember who my friends are. But- but if I can’t rely on the memory book, then what can I rely on?”

“I don’t know. Not yourself, I’m not even real,” he said as I felt the tears slowly fall down my face, stinging as they roll. The tears that burn my skin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank you all for the support! It means more than I can say!


	4. Denial and Burns

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The lore in this chapter is continued directly from the lore in chapter 3. Some of the important lore I decided not to add because even though it’s important to the Dream SMP storyline, that’s not what this is about and I didn’t see it fitting in with what I have planned for this fic. Anyway, enjoy!

“I barely remember anything. The memory book was the one thing that made sure I remember who my friends are. But- but if I can’t rely on the memory book, then what can I rely on?” I say with my voice soft and breaking.

“I don’t know. Not yourself, I’m not even real,” Dream’s voice said.

“What do you mean you’re not real?” I ask, with only the silence the answer. “He’s not real. It wasn’t real.” I sigh. “It wasn’t real. That entire time. ……..I blew up the community house..? I helped with everything. No-no. You couldn’t’ve. You couldn’t’ve. There’s no way you could’ve done that. …..no. You wouldn’t do that. You wouldn’t do those things. I know you wouldn- no. No way. But.. I must’ve. I must’ve done that, but-. No! There’s no way! THERE’S NO WAY I COULD’VE DONE THAT I- I- don’t even have access to TNT! I’ve- I’ve never even- I’ve barely even used TNT- I don’t even- wha- where could I have hidden it? I don’t even use those things- I’ve never-. No, there’s no way it could’ve been me. But- but he said so. Did I help Tommy blow up the house? Why would I do that? Wh- why would I do that?” I say, voice shaky and breaking. “I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t do that.” I say as I begin pacing. “I wouldn’t do that I wouldn’t do that. No- you wouldn’t- that’s not you. No- no- that is you- no it isn’t- but i- it is” I sit in silence for a moment. “No, no. There’s no way you just don’t remember those things,” I say, voice more stable. “cause only- I’m the only one in control.” The level of confidence in my voice surprises me. “I’m the only one in control of me. I know that. How do I not remember such an important event? I remember- I remember important events. I always do! I remember when Tubbo gave me the tour, I remember burning down George’s house, why don’t I remember this? But- obviously, I must remember this, because- ...cause that couldn’t’ve been anyone but me. That couldn’t’ve been anyone but me, but it was! No, but- is that why I was so.. Inclined to side with them this entire time? Is that why I was so...worried?” I could hear the confidence I had a moment ago fade. “I think it was….” I sit in the silence again for a moment. “There’s no- there’s no- there’s no way- there’s no way. No! There’s no way it could’ve been me! There’s no way…there’s no way it could’ve been me. But it was! But it was me! But it wasn’t.. no-no. How does he know? How did he find out where my book was? I had it- I had it here this entire time!” I open my book to see nothing but a smiley face staring back at me. Mocking me. “But all that’s left is just that… that’s all that’s- that’s all that’s left. That’s just all that’s left… I- I have to remember. I have to remember, at least who my friends are. Come on. Okay. We’ll use this,” I say, opening my book, once again seeing the smile. “We use this. Friend- friends.” I start to whisper them softly as I write them down, “Tommy, Techno, Tubbo, Fundy, Niki,” I stop to think, “Who else? Who else? Come on! Who else?!” I can feel myself getting frustrated, the particles started to emit from my shaking skin, covered in goosebumps. Why can’t I remember? Why can I never remember? “Phil,” I whisper as I write down his name. “Who else? Who else? Come on. Come on!” The particles emitting faster and in larger quantities. My jaw starts feeling loose. “Is that all..? And half of these people aren’t even with me. Half of these people aren’t even with me… but they’re- but they’re still here. They’re- I don’t know what to do…” You can hear the utter defeat in my voice. “Everything’s- everything’s going to be fine, right? Everythings going to be fine,” I say softly. “Everythings going to be fine. Everythings going to be fine. It has to be. It has to be fine!” I say this, getting faster with each syllable, trying to calm myself down. “If it’s not fine- ...then I don’t know what I’m gonna do,” I admit to myself. That’s when it hits me. What if that really was Dream, and he knows? What if he knows my secret? I sit in the corner of my panic room, thinking about that possibility, and what could happen. I think about this as my jaw unhinges. As the purple particles swirl around me. As I scream, those distorted, enderman screams. As the tears that have been coming for the last hour continue trickling down my face, causing me to wince in pain as they continue to burn my skin and eyes until I can’t see.


	5. Grass

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the purpose of this, enderman spawners are a thing in vanilla minecraft.

I’ve been feeling sad lately and missing home so I got to my secret room with an enderman spawner. They’re so rare and I don’t think anyone’s found one other than me. I somehow knew where it was. It almost… called to me? I sit and look around me and see the endermen. I smile as they look at me and greet me, most of them holding blocks. I wish I could fully understand what they were saying, but I’m still learning. Hopefully one day soon I’ll know how to communicate with them. I lay back, seeing the purple particles float around me as I close my eyes, feeling safer than I have in a long time.

I wake up a few hours later to see the purple once again, and at first, I freak out. I sit up so quickly I get a headrush, scared, thinking the particles are coming from me and not knowing where I am. I look around and remember where I am. My breathing slows back down and I’m calm again. The particles are coming from me, but not just me and no one is around so it’s okay. I smile and look around me, feeling calm and content once again. I realize most of the endermen are holding stone blocks and knowing grass blocks are their favourite, I decided to grab some dirt blocks and bonemeal so they have grass blocks near the spawner. I go up from underground and realize I don’t have my shovel with me. I sigh, but being so far away from home, I decided to just use my fist. Luckily I have bonemeal on me. I grab some blocks and go back underground. I place the blocks and use bonemeal so the grass will grow, then I break the tall grass so there are just grass blocks. After about an hour, I went back to grab more dirt blocks. I punched the grass block with my fist and as it breaks and pops into my hand, it’s a grass block.   
Wait.   
What?!   
No.   
That- that can’t be right.   
There’s- there’s no way. My eyes widen. I rub them and look back at my hand. I place it and sure enough, it’s a grass block. I do it again. Over and over and over and over. Every time- grass block- with my fist. I freak out and then start smiling like crazy as I run back underground and tell the endermen. I do my best, but I’m not sure how much they actually understood what I was saying. I try it with some stone. Nope, looks like it’s only grass. I cry, but this time it’s from happiness. I realize that this could be hard to hide, and it was already hard enough to hide this part of me. But I was too happy to care. Too happy to care about how it would be hard to hide this. Too happy to care about the tears burning my face.


End file.
